Posts Tagged ‘Rob Defranco’
Disturbing new trends, girls! Men stealing our bikinis and moves and strutting all Beyonce-bootylishily down the boulevard.
If you don’t believe it, watch this clip from Peter Facinelli‘s ‘bet’ made with Rob DeFranco that he, the mighty Facsh, could get 500,000 Twitter followers within a deadline (he succeeded!) in order to 1) retain his $5.99 monogrammed back panel from his Dr. Carlisle Cullen Twilight film set chair, AND, 2 ) see his mate Rob prepare, wear and suffer stares as he danced down the street in Hollywood in a BIKINI! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFJ9BINvomI&NR=1
Surrounded on one end of the ‘walk of shame’ by other bikini clad models, similarly togged, and on the other by amazed passers-by and fans, the loser indeed ‘did the dance’ on Hollywood Boulevard–a stretch otherwise reserved and emblazoned with stars of the silver screen. With hip hop with break dance spins as well as some Fight Club punches too. In fact, it was a mighty fine choreographed number with loads of athletic manoevers, Jett Li high kicks and some coordinated grooves too, even a cartwheel.
This, only after enduring the chest wax, and maybe lower; spray tanning, and then suffering the ignominy of the fitting room trauma we all face each season when we try on the 2 pieces that either make our bums look big or our boobs too small. Rob like us tried on loads before finding the best fit. He just didn’t look as good in the black one he had tried first!
Peter later revealed when all was said and done that even Rob had succumbed to smoothing out his lumpy bits by wearing a secure as duck-tape pair of Spanx under the teensy boy-cut shorts.
Not to be outdone by the older generation, toy boy band member Joe Jonas outfitted in a one-piece black unitard and HEELS also mimed Single Ladies, as did Rob, while gyrating and prancing around on a set to inaugurate his brothers and his new Jonas Brothers album. No skin, but it was terrifying. Wonder what that bet was!
And now Sports Illustrated, one month before launch date of its famed Swim Issue chockers full of luscious models in bikinis, recently announced a ‘Mankini’ contest for best photo of a guy in a bikini. Rules? According to the senior editor MJ Day: ‘Rules of 2009 Mankini contest. 1. must cover your package, 2. anything else goes….KEEP IT SIMPLE!!!’ The winner is to receive a calendar or a book or something to assuage the humiliation of being Twitpicked all over the Twitterverse in a matter of nano-seconds wearing it.
(We’ll wait for Bar, Brooklyn and Behati.)
In fact, given that Peter Facinelli has been declared by E-Online as the top Celebrity Twitterer of the Year and now has over 1.5 MILLION followers, some hapless guy from Des Moines in his ex-wife’s bleached-out bagged-out number will probably end up re-morphed in a Vampire App on the Facsh’s iPhone after winning SI’s teaser contest.
If not, Ashton can’t be far behind, lurking like some tracker to grab onto that tweet.
Don’t say you weren’t warned –that you didn’t see the signs. You’ll end up a total twit, and you’ll never look as bootylicious as us! Like Peter warns, ‘Don’t mess with Facinelli’!
And don’t wear our bikinis, men!
Beautiful beach girls in bikinis
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