Posts Tagged ‘Sports Illustrated’

At first blush, you read this title and mutter to yourself  ’Impossirus–no one (and I mean not no body, not no way, not no how, Wizard of Oz-style) looks good naked, let alone hot’.

Well, not exactly.

Not unless you are Brooklyn Decker, the new uber-gorgeous uber-naked cover girl of the coveted Sports Illustrated Swim issue for this year — just out on the stands last week–and plastered everywhere on the news, nets and wavelengths since.  Time Life, parent owner of SI, estimates that some 65 million people will see this issue and her cover, worth squillions to her in modelling contracts and endorsements, and bringing in the SI bacon to the tune of 7+ million buckoes. From what the punters say these cover girl’s images are seen on anything from bar coasters to calendars to flavored mineral water to move and sell product. Last year’s cover girl, the fiercely stunning Bar Refaeli, squired recently by Leonardo di Caprio, is rumored to be sizzling that she was over-stepped in lieu of Mrs. Andy Roddick, aka Brookie.

Ms Decker’s half-clothed wunderschon-ness was unveiled from atop a New York skyscaper on a national news late night talk show (erm, that would be Letterman, of course) in the interests of modesty–the hour–and suspense–the day before its release. (Guess the editors and producers thought that school-aged tots being bussed and ferried to their respective nurseries and elementary schools the net morning wouldn’t notice 100 feet of smiling yellow sunshine from Brooke towering above their limos and buses, exposed and half-dressed in a yellow bikini bottom.) It mattered not.  She’d look amazing wearing half a yellow foul flag.

But we are not talking total birthday suit here, just alot of skin. In a pull-out of the mag, she reclines in a woven net hammock, all 5 ‘ 9 inches of her gloriousness basking in a sea green bikini. This photo while alluring did not make the cover. Why?  Too much clothing!  Not enough nakedness. Naked or at least topless is what sells, and naked is most definitely hot!

For full-on undress, SI offers its readers a special chapter called ‘Bodypainting’.  It’s more than ‘window dressing’. It’s full on frontal, up close and and personal–with 18 hours of layered theatrical paint. This year does not disappoint–there are European World Cup footballers’ wives, fiancees, girlfriends and according to the gossip rags, has-been wannabees painted up in their respective men’s ‘strips’. Under all that goop, is an ultra-10 naked body. Yikes!

Not to be outdone by the sporting world, with its Olympian women athletes, dancing stars and catwalk beauties, even Hollywood starlet Ashley Greene of the iconic Twilight franchised films gets her kit on, or off, as the case may be. Sponsor SoBe Lifewater used the same make-up artist Joanne Gair and photographer of 3 of the last 4 selected SI Swim covers Raphael Mazzucco to paint her in its logo gecko-scaled swimsuits for its debut of ‘Skinsuits’ and 2 new zero calorie flavors. Alice Cullen has zero inhibitions, for sure. Who cares about dying!

But the hottest and most naked of all totally drops her shell. Candy shell, that is. Miss Green, of M & M fame has appeared on SI Swim’s (back) cover for years now.  Not to be outshone by Ms Greene, above, our demure little sweetie loses her top shell and rolls down her bottom shell, coyly. This Miss Green’s byline on her website (yes, she has a website, Twitter, Facebook accounts and even background wallpaper, plus nearly 8000 friends, for crimminy-sakes!) is ‘ I melt for no one.’

Take that Brookie, Bar, Ashley and others.

Now that’s smokin’ HOT!

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Disturbing new trends, girls!  Men stealing our bikinis and moves and strutting all Beyonce-bootylishily down the boulevard.

If you don’t believe it, watch this clip from Peter Facinelli‘s ‘bet’ made with Rob DeFranco that he, the mighty Facsh, could get 500,000 Twitter followers within a deadline (he succeeded!) in order to 1) retain his $5.99 monogrammed back panel from his Dr. Carlisle Cullen Twilight film set chair, AND, 2 ) see his mate Rob prepare, wear and suffer stares as he danced down the street in Hollywood in a BIKINI! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFJ9BINvomI&NR=1

Surrounded on one end of the ‘walk of shame’ by other bikini clad models, similarly togged, and on the other by amazed passers-by and fans, the loser indeed ‘did the dance’ on Hollywood Boulevard–a stretch otherwise reserved and emblazoned with stars of the silver screen. With hip hop with break dance spins as well as some Fight Club punches too. In fact, it was a mighty fine choreographed number with loads of athletic manoevers, Jett Li high kicks and some coordinated grooves too, even a cartwheel.

This, only after enduring the chest wax, and maybe lower;  spray tanning, and then suffering the ignominy of the fitting room trauma we all face each season when we try on the 2 pieces that either make our bums look big or our boobs too small. Rob like us tried on loads before finding the best fit. He just didn’t look as good in the black one he had tried first!

Peter later  revealed when all was said and done that even Rob had succumbed to smoothing out his lumpy bits by wearing a secure as duck-tape pair of Spanx under the teensy boy-cut shorts.

Not to be outdone by the older generation, toy boy band member Joe Jonas outfitted in a one-piece black unitard and HEELS also mimed Single Ladies, as did Rob, while gyrating and prancing around on a set to inaugurate his brothers and his new Jonas Brothers album. No skin, but it was terrifying. Wonder what that bet was!

And now Sports Illustrated, one month before launch date of its famed Swim Issue chockers full of luscious models in bikinis, recently announced a ‘Mankini’ contest for best photo of a guy in a bikini. Rules?  According to the senior editor MJ Day:  ‘Rules of 2009 Mankini contest. 1. must cover your package, 2. anything else goes….KEEP IT SIMPLE!!!’  The winner is to receive a calendar or a book or something to assuage the humiliation of being Twitpicked all over the Twitterverse in a matter of nano-seconds wearing it.

(We’ll wait for Bar, Brooklyn and Behati.)

In fact, given that Peter Facinelli has been declared by E-Online as the top Celebrity Twitterer of the Year and now has over 1.5 MILLION followers, some hapless guy from Des Moines in his ex-wife’s bleached-out bagged-out number will probably end up re-morphed in a Vampire App on the Facsh’s iPhone after winning SI’s teaser contest.

If not, Ashton can’t be far behind, lurking like some tracker to grab onto that tweet.

Don’t say you weren’t warned –that you didn’t see the signs. You’ll end up a total twit, and you’ll never look as bootylicious as us!  Like Peter warns, ‘Don’t mess with Facinelli’!

And don’t wear our bikinis, men!

Beautiful beach girls in bikinis

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Every once in a while a beach girl grabs the world’s canvas–one day you’d never heard of her, let alone seen her–the next day she is the cover girl of your dreams, on every newsstand.

One such dream girl is Bar Refaeli.

From Israel, and gorgeous in the extreme, Bar has graced the covers of Cosmopolitan, Maxim and Elle as well as the coveted cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue 2009 and its subsequent books and calendars.

In July, she was bodypainted with the title and wording from the new Stephen King novel for the cover of Esquire.

Having been squired by Leonardo DiCaprio at the time, she was catapulted into bikini hyperspeed. Seen with Leo at Bakers Bay, Bahamas late last month, there are inklings that the two may have reunited again.

Combining an almost feline set of blue eyes and a lion’s mane of tawny golden hair, she is curvy and womanly, no stick figure Bar. Her freckled, sunny naturalness is the antidote to near perfect proportions.

At 24 years old, she now commands the ranking and fees of a super model. Her image is known around the world in fashion. She has hosted television. She has even graced an airline side when Southwest Airlines painted an image of her on its 737 Boeing carrier.

In March this year Refaeli received the “World Style Award,” presented by the Women’s World Awards, for her “natural elegance, sense of style and compassion.”

In a controversial move some years ago Bar married (and just as quickly divorced) a family friend to avoid the mandatory military sevice to her country for all men and women 18 years or older.  Sidestepping khaki, Bar relocated to Los Angeles and has never looked back, saying, ‘I really wanted to serve (in the IDF), but I don’t regret not enlisting, because it paid off big time,’ she said. “That’s just the way it is, celebrities have other needs. I hope my case has influenced the army’

Now in LA, Bar is the new face of hip street and beach clothing line Hurley in a sizzling campaign that showcases her edginess and beauty.

Having done the 2010 photos already for Sports Illustrated Bar should be joyful and exuberant as she has a great year ahead it seems.

Beautifil bikinis like Bar’s

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No one personifies the All- American surfer girl in a swim suit more than uber-model Christie Brinkley. Here she is catching rays in a red-white and blue flag inspired one piece.

The 1981 cover of Sports Illustrated Swim edition showed off her sculpted physique and natural glamor in a pinky lavendar bikini that captured the feathery look of the pelicans and seabirds behind her on Captiva Island.

Her 1000 kilo-watt smile, perfect features, tawny golden locks and athletic,womanly form made her the choice for three consecutive covers for Sports Illustrated‘s famed Swim Issues from 1979-1981, the first time anyone appeared three times in a row.

For more than thirty years, Christie has graced over 500 covers of the world’s leading fashion magazines and held the longest contract for modelling as the face of Cover Girl cosmetics nearly as long, for 20 years, signing back in 2005 to represent the maturing market.

Though born in Michigan, she was raised in the Pacific Palisades/Brentwood area of Los Angeles, California, and after attending the French Lycee there, left to study art in Paris in 1973. Discovered in a Parisian post office by a photographer who introduced her to the legendary Elite Modelling agency, her modelling career zoomed to stratospheric proportions at Ford making her one if not the most recognized faces in the world.

Of her new-found status, Christie quipped later: “I was basically a surfer girl from California. I never looked like a model.”

Christie has also appeared in films as ‘the girl in the red Corvette’ in National Lampoon‘s Vacation and reprised her role in a sequel Vegas Vacation. Hosting television shows, writing books, promoting products such as jewellery, perfume and home gym equipment in infomercials, selling patterns, and campaigning for animal rights has kept this vegetarian mother of 3 toned and active and engaged in her still-vibrant career.

But modelling is still what keeps her at the top of the lists when she was voted the number 3 rank in AskMen.com’s  Top 10 Supermodels of all Time, and on Playboy‘s list of 100 sexiest women of the 20th Century.

Perhaps the most enduring testament to her golden girl looks came in 2005 when she was featured in the special Sports Illustrated 40th Anniversary Issue’s Hall of Fame, celebrating the most revered figures in the magazine’s history.

Christie’s posters, covers and calendars are still beaming her sunny beauty to all her many admirers.

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